yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize