my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
