apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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