even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
