JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
