you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
