I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize