I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize