Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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