I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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