with your own penis?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
