I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
