I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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