that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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