so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
