The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this will be a night to untag.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
