Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize