Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
