Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
