Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize