end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
