Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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