the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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