I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
