Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
