I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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