Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Randomize
