let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
