she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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