At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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