It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
