dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
