So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
they call him Oral-B. enough said
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize