i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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