sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Damn victory sex feels great
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize