Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
