My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
