I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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