If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
