Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
