So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
