put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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