You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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