would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
