my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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