road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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