oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
