we have pet lesbian snakes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
