I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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