Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my sisters under your porch take her home
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
