Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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