i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
