HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
