Having a random hookup so left but love u
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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