She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
