I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
