We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
