No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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