jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
