Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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