marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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