Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
