the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
