you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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