What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
This house was built for laser tag.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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