Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
