just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
