Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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