You smell like stripper and shame
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
