Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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