he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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